Dear Book Customers, whom I gratefully serve,

Thank you for your appreciation of fine literature, or at least diet books and Playboy magazines. I feel that our common love of reading binds us in an invisible bond of friendship that will last a lifetime (mine or yours, whichever is shorter). Hurrah!

This letter is to thank you. Because I know that, as a lover of reading, you cherish books as much as I do. You would never set your coffee cup on our new arrivals table, leaving a nice brown ring on the face of a new hardcover (that must have been a movie renter passing by). Nor would you ever take art books or bibles out of their shrink wrap, leaving them without price tags and vulnerable to damage; the written word is too precious to you, surely. That’s why you always watch your children, too, and never let them rip, bend, throw, stick in their mouth, or remove pages or accessories from any book. Thank you, friend. Because of your unfailing efforts as a parent, our children’s section is the absolute most fun to maintain.

I also want you to know that I’m completely understanding of your never putting books back the same place you got them. After all, books are special and unlike all other things on this planet they don’t take up physical space and therefore don’t leave a visible gap where you removed them from. Also, you can’t be expected to master the complex organization method of shelving books. It’s not like we all learn the alphabet in school or anything! Besides, my associates and I are all psychically linked to each and every one of the tens of thousands of items in the store so, don’t worry, we’ll be able to find the item you misplaced the next time someone else is looking for it.

I hope you know how much I enjoy helping you to find the books you’re searching for, and maybe a few that you aren’t. You are so much fun with your incomplete titles and misremembered authors, I feel like I’m not only a bookseller but also a detective, the fulfillment of a childhood dream! It makes me endlessly happy to know that there are others like me, for whom movies and video games cannot replace reading a good book. My dear customers, this Thanksgiving I’m thankful for you!